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re: Potential frottage by impact
Dec 31, 2008

Hey doc,

OK, this had to be one of the funniest one's I have ever read on this site...this guy can't be serious...and your response was priceless...wow..talk about lack of "self-awareness" or in his case mental stability. I don't mean to poke fun, but c'mon...

by the way, lots of love 2 you and your sweetie...i bet you 2 have 2 beat the "straight girls" off with sticks!!!!

stay blessed!

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi,

And that's why he won the "wackiest question of the week" award. (I'll repost it below.)

As for the "straight girls," well, we don't actually use sticks.

Happy Healthy Holidays.

Dr. Bob

Potential frottage by impact? Dec 26, 2008

For the past few months I've been paranoid about HIV and what would happen if I become gay. I am a married man and have no attraction towards men. To convince myself that nothing happens unless u actually penetrate, I decided to perform an "experiment" in my office toilet.

We have a set of urinals. After I had finished my job in the urinal I didn't unzip and with my uncloaked penis moved towards the guy in another urinal approaching him from his left side. I wanted to drive away the fear of HIV. Hence I ensured that there was no contact between the head of my penis and his body (else I wud have sensed some touch right?) Then I decided to stare at him but as I turned to stare I couldn't. Then I turned away to the left (away from the guy) and thought if he was a friend I could have pushed him (with my hands) the way kids push and shove and then he'd hit the urinal wall in front of him and rebound back. When I was thinking of this, it suddenly flashed that after rebounding he might hit my uncloaked penis and then I was terrified and came out of the thought and became more frightened. I then glanced at him and he was still to the extreme right..and was not aware of my thoughts. Even I know that his rebounding and my pushing was just a thought but still I am frightened.

My questions: 1)I do not know if the guy's ass was uncovered or not. Usually everyone only unzips in urinals so there's no reason for ass to be uncovered 2)I never felt any sensation of my penis striking or even touching anything. And his rebounding was just in my thoughts.Suppose he did rebound, that is if I did push him (i.e if this isn't just a thought) could I have impacted him so as to penetrate his anus and get infected and still not feel it? 3)I neither spoke with that guy nor was there any non-verbal signal. So he was clearly oblivious even to my presence. Further I took care to see that when I was moving towards him I did not feel anything touch my penis.Dr Bob has this event (my pushing and his rebounding) really happened or was it really a thought? I was not drunk or under the influence of anything else at that time. 4)I tested negative by PCR RNA, DNA at 42 days after this thing supposedly happened. Tested negative by ELISA for HIV 1 and 2 4 months after supposed even happened. Do I need to test at >6 months Dr Bob? 5) was there any need to get tested at all?

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

Let me get this straight:

1. You've been paranoid about HIV and what would happen if you became gay, but you're a married man and have no attraction toward men????

2. You then decided to perform an experiment to "drive away the fear of HIV" by moving toward a guy peeing in the next urinal while your penis was "uncloaked"???

3. You aborted this experiment, but are worried about the mere thought that if you pushed the guy he would slam into the urinal and rebound back on your uncloaked penis, thereby giving you HIV???

4. None of this ever happened, but you're freaking out nonetheless and you want to know if the guy's ass would be covered while he was peeing and how likely you would have been to have penetrated his butt by penis impaling him during the rebound?!?!

5. So you've been getting PCR RNA, PCR DNA and ELISA tests for HIV-1 and HIV-2.

Congratulations nutter. You have just managed to submit the most whacked-out loony tunes question of the week! (And let me tell you, the competition was particularly stiff this week. Nearly as stiff as your non-gay erect penis charging the poor dude in the next urinal was in your psycho-thought-experiment.) Dude, it's time to step away from the computer and call a psychiatrist. You are one fruitcake shy of a complete yuletide meltdown.

Dr. Bob


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