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where do you get off?
Apr 29, 2008

I was looking at some info on here on another subject. Just noticed a reply that you made to a past post of mine, which I am including here. But my question is this? where do you get off, with your smart ass remarks? You say in your response that "again, another 2 dudes, who never should have been married in the first place", but where in the hell did you get that I am male? My boyfriend and I are now husband and wife! Here is what I just copied: Dr. Bob

couple has AIDS Nov 2, 2007

Dr. Bob, My boyfriend and I both were diagnosed with AIDS this past August. His t-cell count was 89 and mine was 6. We have only been together for 2 years. I just moved back to this state 3 years ago. Before we met, we were both married. It seems unreal that we both had HIV before meeting each other, and that we had it for probably the same length of time. What will it do if we have unprotected sex now?

Response from Dr. Frascino


Another two married dudes (who certainly never should have been married in the first place) who had longstanding HIV/AIDS infections and you didn't know it until this past August???? Hmmm . . . here we have additional evidence once again that our HIV/AIDS awareness and prevention programs in the U.S. are an abysmal failure!!! It's frustrating, disconcerting and sad that over 25 years into the pandemic with over 25 million lives snuffed out by the virus, stories like yours are still so prevalent.

Now getting off my soapbox, I'll move on to your question. You both have advanced-stage AIDS. If you decide to have unprotected sex, you run the risk of contracting a superinfection. In other words, you could each contract the other's strain of virus. This theoretically could make your HIV disease progress faster or become more difficult to treat. For instance, if you or your partner picks up a strain that is resistant to one or more of the medications in your regimen, this could have disastrous consequences. Exactly how often superinfection (dual infection) occurs, we don't know. What we do know is that it is possible. You can read about dual infection or superinfection in the archives. Personally, this is definitely not a risk I would take.

I trust you are both under the care of a competent AIDS specialist physician. If not, you should be!

Good luck to you both. I'm here if you need me, OK?

Dr. Bob

Response from Dr. Frascino


I showed your post to three other HIV experts. They all assumed exactly as I did that you were male. Sorry, we were all wrong and shouldn't jump to conclusions. It's interesting to note you are so offended by my wrong assumption. As a gay man, I can tell you the reverse assumption, that I must be heterosexual, has occurred countless times. I wear a "wedding band" on my ring finger and nearly everyone I meet assumes I have a wife. But actually I have a "Steve" (Dr. Steve, the expert in The Body's Tratamientos forum). We've been together for 15 years and we've both encountered such assumptions repeatedly. So I do apologize and I do know exactly how you feel.

That said, my advice aside from the "should never have been married comment" remains accurate. I also still wonder how you and your new hubby, both with advanced-stage AIDS, never realized you were infected!!

Dr. Bob

Who Do I Tell?
Response - travelling in the EU

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