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whats your secret?
Jan 24, 2008

Dr. Bob

It's ashame we don't have more Doctors like you!! I think you are a very intelligent and charasmatic (excuse th e spelling) individual. Your humor is hilarious especially to some of the ridiculous questions. What is your secret. How do you manage to stay upbeat!

Response from Dr. Frascino


My secret? Hmm . . . Oh I don't know. Great sex maybe? But then again that's no secret at least to our neighbors . . . . Actually I really find being positive about being positive is the best way to cope with the challenges of coexisting with a virus that would like to kill me. Besides, "laughter is the best medicine." That's why Cheney is such a sick puppy. The snarly faced Dark Lord of Halliburton hasn't laughed in years. I'll post something from the archives that I wrote years ago in response to a similar question. I tend to agree with the playwright Paul Rudnick who wrote, ""Only money, rage, and science can conquer AIDS. But only laughter can make the nightmare bearable." Personally I try to combat HIV/AIDS using all four modalities: money, rage, science and laughter. Besides, I truly enjoy putting the "fun" back into all the dys"fun"ctional questioners' farfetched queries. If you need a way to put a bit more fun into your life, I'll also post something from the archives that provides some entertaining possibilities to try.

Keep smiling. Keep laughing. Stay safe. Stay well.

Dr. Bob

How do you do it? Jun 13, 2006

Dr Bob, There's no need to tell you how much we all love you, I'm sure by the truckload of emails you recieve you know "inspiring" you are to all of us. You are always giving advice, but my question "did" and how "do" you cope with your diagnosis and co-exsisting with hiv? You must have an incredible mind set of positivity, or some other secrets we arent aware of, as you are always sooo seemingly happy and strong in your life? Do you put things down to the knowledge you have being a doctor? Love, family and freinds? Large support groups (like us who adore you)? We would love to know the many secrets you possess to coping with hiv so incredibly well. There are a lot of us trying to find a way to live with this "frightening" illness. Also, do you have a lot of faith and hope in how the meds will be over the next 5 - 10 years? do you believe we will come to live with this as those do with diabetes - a more "guaranteed long life with less illness and infection"? I'm sure these are questions every reader on here wants to hear from you.

Thanks Dr Bob.

Response from Dr. Frascino


"An incredible mind set of positivity . . . ???" Hmmm . . . well, I will say I'm one of the most optimistic (and realistic) people on the planet and very "positive about being positive."

Being an HIV specialist does help me understand the illness, but "love, family and friends" help me survive and thrive with it.

As for secrets that help me cope with the challenges of being "virally enhanced," I have always found that helping others who are in need is not only rewarding beyond belief, it's also the best way to keep my personal challenges in their proper perspective. Adaptability is also important. Life, love, sex, illness and our eventual transition to whatever is next are all a series of unscheduled events! In life, as in cards, we can't choose the hand we are dealt, but we can choose how to play those cards! It seems to me a truly content person is one who can enjoy the scenery, even when forced to take an unanticipated detour! Even with HIV, I find life is full of passion, meaning and commitment. If I were to die today, I'd say I had one hell of a good ride. If I don't die today, I have an unlimited list of things to experience and accomplish that I look forward to with great anticipation.

George Bernard Shaw captured my sentiments exactly when he wrote:

"This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one. The being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy . . . . Life is no brief candle for me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations."

Am I optimistic about treatment options over the next 5-10 years? Absolutely. What saddens me is that only 10% of those in need are even getting the treatments we have available today. It is harder to be as optimistic about their future.

Do I believe HIV will become another diabetes? No, I do not. This has nothing to do with "treatability" or becoming a "chronic manageable disease," but rather with the fact that HIV/AIDS, for all the wrong reasons, has been stigmatized beyond belief. I view the challenges of HIV to be far greater than merely coexisting with the virus. I welcome everyone to join me in confronting these daunting issues. Perhaps that's the real secret of coping with any personal crisis looking beyond our personal self interest in an effort to improve the common good.

Stay well. Don't be frightened. Get involved.

Dr. Bob

Incredibly Infectious Oct 19, 2005

Dr. Bob, that is how I would describe your smile. On my darkest days while I await my window to open so I can escape this hell of anxiety and fear, I stop by your forum and see that smile and read your responses, and it makes me smile...even if only for a few minutes (though some of your wittier comments keep me smiling all day). Thank you for taking the time to share your intelligence, your wit and that amazing smile with the world of worriers out there. I pray for you that you will continue to be well and happy. You were a gift from God.

God Bless!

Response from Dr. Frascino


Smiles are indeed infectious! And certainly not only mine. Try yours on everyone you encounter today and you'll see what I mean. You can also just come up with fun stuff to make people smile. For instance, specify that your drive-through order is "to go." Or put your garbage can on your desk at work and label it "In." You might also try putting up mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day. Gosh, the possibilities are endless and I'm smiling just while thinking about them!

I suggest you smile all day. If nothing else, it will make folks wonder what you've been up to!

I'm sending you my best good-luck karma and a warm smile!

Dr. Bob

Thank You Aug 22, 2005

This is a statement. Thank You for your work in keeping me, and everyone else, informed and at ease through this epidemic. Adam , New York City

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi Adam,

You are welcome. I find it enjoyable and fulfilling. It's kind of like when I sit in my parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars and then watch them hit the brakes and slow down.

Stay well.

Doc Ur The Bestest! Aug 23, 2005

You and this site are a perfect find. Your sense of humor adds such a wellspring of hope. I truly appreciate you as a Doctor who cares. (I'm sure you're an awesome all around guy, too). BTW,small donation sent.


Response from Dr. Frascino

Hey Vince,

Thanks for your kind comments and your donation! Both are warmly appreciated. As for the "wellspring of hope," I truly believe there is much to be hopeful about. Regarding humor, we should never pass up an opportunity to smile. Try this: next time you're at the ATM, as soon as the money starts coming out, yell "I won, I won!!!" and see what happens. (It always works for me.) Stay well, Vince.

Dr. Bob

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