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Sex with a plastic bag.
Jun 3, 2007

Hi. My boyfriend and i were out of condoms the other day, and were lazy, so instead of going out to buy more, we used a plastic grocery bag. He is concerned right now that he is infected with HIV, and i was wondering two things. A) could i possibly contract it through the bag? ..and.. B) this is the first time ive used a plastic bag. Are there any harmful things that i should be aware of? Needless to say, from now on i wont be lazy, because after sex, i recieved a very uncomfortable pain in my lower left abdomen. I am worried that it could be from the bag. Any information would be very helpfull. Thanks.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

Imagine an egg-salad sandwich squished into a condom. Hmmm . . . not very appetizing. And probably not all that helpful for transporting your egg-salad sandwich in your Napoleon Dynamite lunch pail to and from school, right? Well, that's because condoms are not Ziploc sandwich bags -- and Ziploc sandwich bags are not condoms!

Do plastic bags protect against HIV? Dude, no one knows, because aside from repressed rightwing Republicans who are too afraid to buy condoms (a quick ticket straight to hell!), plastic grocery bags are not used for STD protection while doing a horizontal mattress mambo! Are there "harmful things" that can happen from using a plastic bag? Chances are you fared better than the egg-salad sandwich in the reverse situation and probably you didn't do yourself any significant harm, but you also should not count on the Ziploc to prevent unwanted pregnancy or STDs!

Being lazy is one thing; however, your actions make as much sense as Dubya's disastrous Iraq policies.

Dr. Bob


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