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mom trying to hold on
Nov 28, 2005

I am the mom of a gay son. I love him no matter what. We have discussed safe sex, etc. I can only pray that he stays safe. When he comes home from college he puts his toothbrush in the toothbrush holder with everyone elses. I do not want him to feel like a leopard so I haven't said anything to him. I have discussed with him and all other family members to use own toothbrush and razors. Do you think it is ok for his toothbrush to be with the others? If this sounds dumb, please forgive me. This has been the hardest thing in my life and I am trying to just hold on. Thank you for answereing this question. It means a lot to me.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

Having a gay son in college has been "the hardest thing in your life and you're just trying to hold on????" Hmmm . . . yep, that sounds dumb. If you "love him no matter what," what's all this drama about? There is nothing wrong with being gay or having a gay son. Frevinsake! As for putting his toothbrush next to the others in the holder, are you worried his toothbrush might turn the other toothbrushes gay??? Don't worry, Mom, it's not contagious.

Listen up, Mom. A gay son who practices safe sex may well be at less risk for HIV than a straight high school daughter who is not using proper protection. Would you segregate a potentially sexually-active straight daughter's toothbrush? Put away the "hazmat" labels, Mom. Your son is gay, not diseased. If you don't want him to feel like a "leopard" (or leper, for that matter), then stop treating him like one. I'd suggest you consider getting some counseling, as you are either harboring unrealistic fears about HIV transmission or not coping well with your son's sexual orientation. Either way, you could use some professional help.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob


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