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Negative yet Positive
Nov 28, 2005

Doctor... Let me start by saying the same thing that everyone always says. You've gotten me through some tough times and in a place where you think you have noone to talk to...your site was always there. I am looking forward to donating to your cause. My question is this. I just recently tested negative on a Elisa antibody test 16 weeks after recieving oral sex from a girl that I have no reason to think is positive. I know there is very little risk involved with that and I know you also usually say that 13 weeks is definitive especially in such a low risk case as mine. But why is none of that helping? Why am I having such a hard time letting go. Thinking that I got infected has been so life altering that I don't know how to get back on track. Why do I have such a hard time excepting good news? It seems that many people asking questions have had similiar problems. Do people subconsciously want to be infected? I know that sounds rediculous but why do people like myself continue to freak out when there is no need to? I guess enough of the questions. I thought maybe you'd have an interesting time answering this one. I've written before but was never answered, however the fact that you even answer any of us is impressive to begin with. Well..i guess thats my querie. If 13 weeks negative after getting a blowjob is definitive, then why am I still living my life like its not? You are one of the only people that I think can give me an intelligent answer. Thank you so much for everything you have done and are continuing to do. You are an inspiration to all, infected or not.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello,

You write, "Why do I have such a hard time excepting good news?" Hmmm . . . well, as it turns out, you, like many "worried wells," have no trouble "excepting" good news. It's "accepting" that news that seems to be the problem. The reason most folks can see their negative three-month test, yell WOO-HOO and promptly get on with their lives while others cannot is not a question of "subconsciously wanting to be infected." Rather, it's often a problem related to guilt or an irrational fear of even the remote possibility of being HIV infected. Both of these issues have psychological underpinnings. And both are amenable to psychotherapy (counseling). I cannot tell over the Internet which issue or issues are impeding your ability to accept reality, but I do not believe you, or anyone else in their right mind, subconsciously wants to be infected.

I suggest you seek counseling. Bring this post and my response to your first session and show it to your therapist. Accepting that you are definitively and conclusively not HIV infected is a "problem" the over-40 million of us poz-folks can only dream about.

With appropriate intervention, I'm quite confident your problem is curable, even if HIV is not.

Good luck! Stay well.

Dr. Bob


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