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Would you get tested Bob?
Nov 27, 2005


I have searched the archives and I think I know the answer to my question but I am still freaking. I am married with 2 Children and little confused about my sexual orientation. On a recent business trip I got totally hammered and went to a bathhouse. I met a guy and started to give a guy a blow job. I don't know if there was pre-cum and he did not cum in my mouth. I made out with him and probably went down on him for 30 seconds before I panicked and left. I know from reading the site this is a low risk activity. 1)How low is it? 2) Other than putting myself at ease would you reccomend I get tested. Thank you very much and a donation is forthcoming.

Signed Freaked and Confused!!

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Freaked and Confused,

Your questions should have been posted to the Safer Sex/HIV Prevention Forum (rather that Fatigue and Anemia, which is dedicated to folks confirmed to be HIV positive). Consequently, I'll only answer briefly and refer you to the other forum for additional information, O.K.? (I'll post this in both forums.)

1. The estimated per-episode risk of unprotected receptive oral sex with a partner confirmed to be HIV positive is 1 in 10,000 exposures. Your estimated risk would be less, because we don't know if your bathhouse buddy was positive or not.

2. The choice of whether or not to get tested is always a personal one. The best I can do is advise you on the level of risk. Because you are "freaked and confused" and because your HIV risk is not completely nonexistent, I do suggest you consider testing. It would be one way of calming your HIV fears. However, I do believe being a "little confused" about your sexual orientation to the point you find yourself "totally hammered" doing a Lewinsky in a bathhouse is the real issue that deserves attention. Find a counselor and get some help coping with your sexual- orientation confusion. I also suggest you level with your wife. It's not only the best way to confront and cope with your guilt; it's also the right thing to do.

Good luck!

Dr. Bob

HIV Hits Home......
you are great

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