|Wohooooooooooooooo. WORRIED WELLS MUST READ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oct 31, 2005
So, you stopped living your life because you believe you have HIV or some other STD? Hopefully, I am not wasting my time writing this and someone who is really worried about having an STD will stop and realize the reality of their situation.
Im a male in my mid 20s who took a very serious risk. I met a girl online, talked to for a while and really thought I would have a good time by meeting her. When I met her in person it was unbelievable, she was good looking, funny, and nice. One thing led to another and I ended up having UNPROTECTED SEX with her the first day I met her. You read it right UNPROTECTED, no condom no nothing, raw! A few days later I called her and we talked. I asked her how many people she slept with and she said around 15 guys. I freaked, looking at her you would not think she sleeps around like that. I was also very ignorant of stds and HIV to me was a disease that was unheard of. I didnt think of it much until sometime after when I caught the flu and woke up in the middle of many nights in a cold sweat. A few months later I had tiny bumps grow all over the head of my penis, and then I started to worry but tried to ignore it. When I went to the washroom one day I had a bloody stool, then I knew something was wrong 100%. Rashes grew near the palms of my hands. A purplish bump grew on my neck and one near my thigh and then a lot of these bumps grew all over my body. Then I became very tired all day, even when I slept I would always be tired for no reason, I was extremely fatigued all the time and everyone would always ask me why I look so tired. At work, I would get burning sensations at my knees, very bad where I could barely sit or stand. I would feel tingly feelings on the tip of my fingers and toes. My tongue was completely white and towards the back of my tongue it was horrible with white coating. I had flakes on my hair all the time even when it was cleaned. I began getting heart pains and my eyes would always be red I could not understand what was wrong with me. When I would walk I would easily trip and stumble on things. I couldnt stand for long periods of time and many of my body parts would feel numb all the time for no reason. I would have a hard time breathing, even when walking I felt so old. One day at a friends house I seen a flash, my vision just went white; all I could see is white for 2 minutes or so. I would always get headaches and feel sick, I felt sick all the time everyday. I met a girl some time after and we also had UNPROTECTED SEX, she then began getting a lot of the same symptoms especially the fatigue, headaches, and pains. I then knew that I transferred something to her from my body, a disease. I was very ignorant of HIV and diseases so I began researching them. When I read the symptoms of HIV and other stds my heart stopped, im not kidding I literally did not breathe. My symptoms fit HIV perfectly, I did not have a doubt in my mind that I have HIV. I began to cry and get so mad that I threw away my life over one sexual encounter. Oh how ignorant I was and the price I would pay for one stupid move. This poor girl that had nothing to do with it is now also paying the price of having HIV. I thought of everything, my family, suicide, what people would think when they heard I have HIV, my future plans, all my friends and just everything. Life would not be the same with HIV, and now I have to live with this disease because I made one stupid mistake. I came on this website about 15 times a day for 8 months reading stories of people who shared some of my symptoms, but it always seemed that my symptoms where more real than anyone and my symptoms fit HIV more than anyone else, I knew I caught the disease. After seeing so many people say just get tested, I decided I have nothing to loose at this point. I could not live like this anymore, just watch my life pass me by thinking about HIV, I decided to get tested. I didnt go to the first 8 appointments I made to get screened, I was disgusted with the idea of having to be tested for sexually transmitted diseases, it just seemed sick. One day after being on this site and reading the odds of getting HIV I thought even with all my symptoms, maybe HIV missed me? No, Im always unlucky, always get dealt the bad end of the stick I must have HIV. Well, I got tested for HIV and various other stds and guess what happened to my life after I got the results? NEGATIVE, NEGATIVE, NEGATIVE!!! I tested negative for all the diseases, I did not catch anything! But, of course the symptoms did not go away and again I knew the results where wrong. Maybe they mixed up my test, I mean sure I tested negative for HIV but there is no way I do not have any disease, there is just no way with all my symptoms. I then began to worry myself to death again and put myself back in the pitiful cycle. I then decided to see an STD specialist. He gave me all the tests. Before I got my results the doctor told me that he has cases like this all day all the time. People who think they have a disease but they dont. Everything again came back negative, hearing this from a doctor now I really believed that I am negative. Now that I believe Im negative, all the symptoms magically went away. If I get enough sleep Im not tired during the day, the bumps on my penis look very normal, the purplish bumps are bumps from being human! Your mind, no matter what you believe, it is your mind playing tricks on you guys. The symptoms for STDs are hilarious; they are exactly the same symptoms of you being alive and human. Who doesnt get the flu? Who doesnt grow bumps on their body? Who doesnt feel tired at times? Who does not have a single swollen lymph node on their body or think they have one? The truth of the matter is what counts and here are the facts:
1) Hiv is a very weak disease and is hard to get. HIV is not easily transmitted sexually, many things need to happen for HIV to get into your body and multiply. 2) You have a disease or you dont, symptoms are bullshit. 3) STDs are not something you want to lie to yourself about, if you test positive for a disease its extremely unlikely that the disease will be HIV. Most other diseases are cured with penicillin and then you can forget about it, that simple! 4) Not knowing isnt going to help you with stds, the sooner you get tested the sooner you can forget you ever made a stupid mistake and move on with your life. As impossible as it seems to you today, nearly everyone who gets tested will look back at this and laugh. I can promise you that so get it over with. Go to google.com and look up STD CLINIC + whatever city you are in and you will find sites to get tested. Testing is the easiest thing in the world, all they do is take blood and urine from you, its a 5 minute confidential process. 5) 99 out of 100 people who come on this site end up testing negative for HIV, I am confident of that.
Today I am the most grateful man alive, I had all the symptoms of HIV but I did not get the disease. I thank GOD everyday for that.
To Dr. Bob, I only wish you can feel the greatness you posses. You are everything that is good in this world. I swear Dr. Bob if there was only 1 in a million like you in this world we would have heaven on earth. I am always grateful for what you have done for me, I am sure that if you did not create this site I would not be a happy person today let alone alive and enjoying it. I promised to donate $1,000 to you but have not had the chance to do so with all the bills I am behind on, please forgive me. I promise that when I get back on my feet the minimum donation will be $1,000 to your foundation.
To everyone else, please dont waste another day, go get tested life is too precious to live this way worrying and driving yourself insane for no reason. Go get tested, it is the only way out of this mess.
Response from Dr. Frascino
Thank you for your detailed testimonial. I'm quite confident your story will help others, who are currently stuck in their personal worried-well Hell. I'd also like to point out that after your initial tests, your "symptoms" persisted and it wasn't until after your second negative test (and discussion with the specialist) that you "believed" you were negative. Once you believed your negative status, all your symptoms "magically went away." Worried Wells, take note!
Thank you for your generous and compassionate willingness to help others who are struggling with the challenges of cohabitating with HIV. (www.concertedeffort.org) On behalf of all who will be touched by your kindness, please accept my heartfelt appreciation.
tested positive, my partner did not
Not a question, but a thank-you
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