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Re: Tired of Living Like This
Sep 21, 2005

My Fiance' and I have been together for two years now, we are both HIV+, and have just welcomed our beautiful baby girl into the world. The birth was cesearean, but our baby girl is perfectly healthy, happy, and HIV free. It really does happen, when she got pregnant, well it was a shock to us both as we thought we could have no more children, plus we had both found out that we were positive just a year prior, but found love, and thought it a blessing that we shared this with each other, as we made a silent commitment to each other to love each other completely, and thought it was ironic that we both were + and found love with each other, but what if we did not???? Well, we faced that question too, and ....while we were both open minded (Bi-sexual) previously, it was our dream to have children, a family etc....well we have it all now, plus we both entered into our relationship with one child from previous relationships, that alone proved to us that we did not settle for each other just because of our circumstances. Unfortunately, there are more and more hetero singles out there in the world with this disease, they are looking for someone too. It would be of grat loss to those people as well if you just gave up, love does not always come packaged the way you might want it to be, I love my lady so very much that (Incidentally we are not sure who was infected first, but conclude that we transmitted it to one another) I knew when I found out that I would gladly live with this disease with her, and so it is, we are the picture of the "Normal Jones' Family" and nobody is the wiser. We have chosen to tell select people in our lives, and while we do not hide, we strive to give our children, and family the most balenced life that we can. Since diagnosis, we have both been healthy, and undetectable until now, in my own stupidity, and overworking myself to pay for a new baby, my CD4 count has dropped drastically with not being on meds, but I am seeking treatment, and we are hopefull that all will be well soon, and I will not make the mistake again of not taking care of myself again. You are probably a beautiful woman, with so much to offer, please, I am begging you, and so is my Fiance', seek counseling, or find that determination to live, because all you wish for is just waiting for you to put forth the effort to live for it first! If it has been thirteen years, you are long overdue, plus it would not hurt if you got laid well before you check out! My spouse and I enjoy a high sex drive, and all the trimmings that couples we know that do not have this disease do not, are happier, more determined, and motivated. Plus this is a hard disease to get through alone, especially in the first few years. There are "Poz" dating sites, and please do not discount what Dr. Robert said, it is possible to have a negative partner, and be fulfilled. I know several myself, the key is be honest with yourself, and your partner and.....Make the determination to live, if need be in spite of this disease! For me, it rejuvenated my life, made me want to do things I was neve ambitious enough to do, "I'll be damned if this was going to kill me before I accomplished certain goals" And poof! Two years later, modern medicine has pretty much assured that I will outlive my non + peers, bonus! I have a new lease on life, and a beautiful woman, and children that are a blessing to share it with! NO, I will not go quietly into that silent night, I have chosen to fight every step of the way, and live the good life! Your turn...What are you going to do???

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello!

Thank you! I'll make sure "Tired of Living This" gets a copy of your post so she can see that if she's "tired of living like this," she ought to try living like that!

I'm sending cyber-hugs to you and your wonderful family.

Stay well.

Dr. Bob


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