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28yo Chicago guy w/Thanks!
Mar 31, 2005

Dr. Frascino:

I can't tell you how much your response to my question (HIV+ / Will I Ever Have Sex Again?) meant to me. I wrote that to you coming out of the haze of guilt, fear, anger, and dread that every newly diagnosed person faces. Although a year and a half ago I would've never envisioned being so comfortable w/being HIV+, I thankfully am. It's now simply an everpresent unpleasantry (as are so many other things in life). But it gets dealt with. It's there. It's a part of me. I accept that through the clarity of being able to understand that my life is mine to live and mine alone. It's only when you fully come to terms w/it that you are able to look around and realize that you "deserve" all the things in life that HIV- people "deserve": love, success, honesty, and happiness. I look in the mirror now and I don't see the stupidest person to ever walk the face of the Earth, the most disgusting person, the diseased, ill-fated fool that I used to see. I see someone who has many great things to offer anyone and anything, whether it be a partner, a friend, or a job. But I was allowing other people to project on me the exact same feelings that I'd so gratefully released. Associating yourself w/anyone who would not want to be around you because you're HIV+ quietly puts those thoughts right back into your head. Life is too precious for that. And if I ever do find myself in a relationship it will only be w/someone who views life that way. The link that you submitted in your response to me was of great help (http://hivinsite.ucsf.edu/InSite?page=kb-07-02-02), a wonderful scientific resource for HIV+ people to share w/their partners when it's time for "the talk." I have a date Saturday w/a guy I met last weekend. I don't know whether or not he'll be the one to sit down and read through all of the information, whether or not he'll be the one to "stick it out." But I do know that if he's not, that I'm going to be fine. Again, thank you so very much for your kind words and support. You are an amazing man who does amazing work. And someone in Chicago is very greatful to have ever stumbled upon this website. Take care and God bless. -Chicago IL

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Chicago's New Most Eligible Bachelor,

I'm delighted you have, as Aretha once sang, "A New Attitude!" I couldn't agree with you more. There are indeed "everpresent, unpleasantries," for instance Tom DeLay, Bush, Cheney, etc. and yes, they get dealt with just look at what's happening with Tom DeLay!

Not only do I believe you "deserve" love, success, honesty and happiness (and mind-blowing sex), I'm quite confident that, as Chicago's new most eligible bachelor, you'll get it! As for someone to "stick it out" with you (or for you, whatever the case may be), as anticipated, I received several hundred posts from dudes in your area (and as far away as Australia and Zimbabwe) who want a chance to sweep you off your feet well, at least get you into a horizontal position anyway. As a service to you, I will personally meet and test all suitors before sending them on to meet you. You can thank me later. Oh, by the way, the Aussie surfer dude we "interviewed" last night was heaven on a stick.

Keep smiling, Chicago-Guy and may the Goddess smile on you as well.

Dr. Bob


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