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HIV Carrier
Jul 5, 2004

my boyfriend says he is an HIV carrier and that he can not infect anyone. He has children that do not carry the HIV virus and the mother of his children also does not carry the HIV virus. Should i be worried that we have had unprotected sex when he says he can not infect anyone.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi,

There is no such thing as an "HIV carrier" that cannot transmit the virus to another person. The mother of your boyfriend's children as well as his children are very lucky. Thankfully, not every HIV exposure leads to HIV transmission, but unprotected sex with an HIV-positive person is exactly like playing sexual Russian roulette. Are you willing to take that risk? I certainly hope not! I'm not sure if your boyfriend is just woefully misinformed, delusional, or if he is just an outright cad. In any case, please protect yourself and insist on latex condoms each and every time you have sex. You (and he) might find it enlightening for you to go with your boyfriend to his next visit to his HIV specialist. Mention your boyfriend's claim that he is only an "HIV carrier" and therefore doesn't believe he can infect anyone. I can assure you the response you'll get will confirm what I've said.

By the way, if you've had unprotected sex with him already, you'll need to be HIV tested at least three months after the last contact, and if that is negative, than again at six months. You should also suggest your boyfriend sign on to this or any other legitimate HIV information website. He's got a lot to learn!

Please stay well.

Dr. Bob


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