Doc: I'm sitting here with an HIV lab report on my desk. I've placed it upside down and can't get myself to turn it over. I really don't want to know what I know... that I am positive that is. How do I konw?... well the usual - risky sex with high risk woman followed by weeks of swollen lymphs, thrushy mouth, sores inside my lips, tingly feet, slight fever fatigue, etc.

My question is - is there anything you can say that will help me turn over that paper and see what it says. I am so scared to know... it is like I'd rather live with the doubt that I am positive than know that I really am.

bye... I'll just keep staring at the blank side of a lab report.

Hello,

You state, "Id rather live with the doubt that I am positive than know that I really am." Unfortunately, HIV doesnt work that way. Knowing you are HIV-positive wont kill you; however, not knowing can indeed cost you your life. Despite "the usual" "risky sex with a high-risk woman followed by weeks of swollen lymphs, thrushy mouth, sores inside lips, tingly feet, slight fever, fatigue, etc.," the odds you are not HIV infected are still very much in your favor. The "usual" is that the vast majority of cases like yours turn out to be NEGATIVE!

Why stare at the blank side of a lab report, living life in needless fear when the odds are you should be WOO-HOOing? Its time to turn the lab report over. Do it now. Youll be glad you did. Ill be waiting for your WOO-HOO!

Dr. Bob