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I'm a spoon!!
Nov 18, 2002

Dear 'Most Wonderful and Compassionate' doctor in the entire world,

(As you can tell, I have read your replies to others.)

Ok - story is, met up with past girlfriend after 3 year break, got a bit frisky (how British is this email!?!?)

Did the sensible thing of using protection for intercourse, but also gave her unprotected oral sex. Have to say was a thoroughly enjoybale experience..LOL Enjoyable until I noticed what appeared to be a healing blood blister on my cheek and a small abrasion at the back of the roof of my mouth...)

Anyway, about week after woke up with bad sore throat, which seemed to go with the help of throat lozenges in a day or so. Then though, started having erratic toilet troubles for about a couple of months or so. Panicked - accessed internet, and Bob's your uncle, or in this case, super ace doctor, I started to find info. that shall we say, scared me just a tad.

Basically, in your realistic view on everything, am I driving myself crazy for no reason? Everything that goes wrong with me now, for example a a couple of days of feeling like poop about 8 weeks or so after this, strikes the fear of all fear into me. I know I am a silly Brit to presume so much, not least my partners HIV status, but the internet has done funny things to my mind. Who says technology brings benefits?

Please, as you have with so many others, provide me with your expert view, which, is quite obviously a good deal more expert than mine.

Thanks Doc,

(p.s a spoon, when related to a person is one who is a rather silly and dimwitted individual. There is your British English lesson for the day.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Brit!

Cunnilingus carries an extremely low risk for acquiring HIV, and since you used protection for the main event, I'd say you are not only a spoon, but also fork, knife, and perhaps the whole place setting as well. Your symptoms are not at all worrisome for HIV seroconversion. How come you guys read all the scary stuff on the Internet and overlook all the reassuring information?

So frisky Brit, stop worrying and continue to play safe, and you'll be A-OK! That's American for "jolly fine!"

Tut, tut, and tally ho!

Dr. Bob


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