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DOC please - pertinent questions-
Aug 30, 2002

HI Doc

I am not italian but I love Sinatra and eat pasta all the time..I also think you are the epitomy of campassion and damn good looking too I know you'll get peeved that this is the wrong forum but I;ve tried the others and written you twice. I;ve read EVERYTHING ON YOUR SITE INCLUDING ARCHIVE SEARCH so please don't think i haven't looked. I think my questions are pertinent

recentlu I had a recent low-risk exposure with a high risk girl - asian pro.

She gave me a hand job and though i've had this deal twice before it's only recently that i've started worrying. Now I am really scared witless cos she was really high risk and believe it or not it happened out of the blue because she was outside my hotel room when I went back..i was a well oiled and though we used condom for the first bit of the hj we didn;t for the middle bit ( i mean duration-wise)

Specifically I have some questions

1 / which is less risky, hetro insertive intercourse with condom given possibility of leakage/ breaking or one who gets a handjob (no condom) possibility of cuts and stuff

2/ why do people keep saying they got tested at 1 week 2 week, 1 month etc when it clearly sais that 3 months minimum (6 months at best) proves anything. - not critisisign jus asking cos i'm in the window and my mind is doing cartwheels

3) please forgive me for this one: I've done a lot of research cos I', scared and can't anything else but I've noticed that HIV pos experts tend to be more lenient when it comes to what is risky or not. Specifically, some sites say Mut Mas carries a risk where as you say it's safe as houses baring cuts, blood etc

4) since the CDC keeps no stats on sex activity leading to transmission how do we know that Mut Mas and Hjs down do the trick

Believe me, I really wanna believe lenient advice/ current theory but I wouldn't believe my own mother at the moment.

4) jus cos there is 'no known'' evidenve that Mut Mat leads to HIV evidence seems little reason to carry in doing it. 15 years ago was there any evidence that receptive oral can transmit?

please forgive me Dr B - I am not being arrogant but I every hour of the day I am turning over hypotheses and there ain't nothing I can do for at least 6 months. Everytime I have to think about things that lead to the future I cut myself short..I couldn't tell anyone about this

Please please tell me my theories are flawed.

ps I've read all the other responses you wrote. Cheers and keep up the good work. I really wanna buy a CD of your and your partners concertos - is there one where the money proceeds to research?

pps it helps just knowing that you might have read this

Please answer, thanks in advance doc

consumed with angst

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello consumed with Angst,

You've read everything on my site, including the archives!?!? Wow. Did you ever take care one of those Evelyn Wood speed-reading seminars? I'll be happy to try to quell your fears, but you write "I wouldn't believe my own mother at the moment." Now I wonder if you won't even believe MOM, how are you going to believe me? But here goes . . . .

1. It is impossible to compare the "actual" HIV risk of protected heterosexual insertive intercourse with the risk of a hand job. Actually, I'd have to say such a comparison is an exercise in mental masturbation. Protected insertive vaginal sex is completely safe if the condom doesn't fail. Hand jobs are completely safe if you don't have cuts or abrasions that would allow infected ejaculate to enter. So I'd say both were safe if done properly.

2. Why do people get tested as 1, 2, 4, etc. weeks? Good question. Probably because they are scared out of their wits. You are correct that the 3-month test is the one that counts.

3. I'm not sure HIV-positive experts are more lenient than other HIV experts. In fact, often I've noticed the opposite. It's really a question of science. Certainly, very rare things can happen very rarely. We do not live in a world of absolutes. Is mutual masturbation safe? Absolutely. Is it safer to spend your entire life wrapped in Glad Wrap and never touch another human being? Well, probably, but not by much. So you can choose your level of acceptable risk. Do you walk in the rain knowing there is a small risk of being hit by lightening? Do you drive a car knowing there is considerable risk of being in an accident? Do you eat Krispy Kreme doughnuts knowing there is a risk of increasing your cholesterol and causing a stroke or heart attack? I think you can see where I'm going with this, can't you?

4. Yes, the CDC does collect stats on mode of transmission, but how does one prove this really was the mode? Please note the virus has been around for more than 2 decades. It's not all that mysterious. We know quite well potential modes of transmission and what is possible or impossible. For instance, someone just wrote to me about fear that stable flies can transmit HIV. The answer for stable flies is the same as for mosquitoes. The only way to become infected by them is to find one large enough to have unsafe sex with!

So, my friend, are your theories flawed? Yes, I'm afraid they are. I don't know if my response will convince you of this or not. If not, I would strongly recommend you get some counseling to help you cope with your irrational fears, as they are certainly affecting your quality of life.

As for a CD of our concerts, videotapes are available from our foundation's office. A CD is in the works and should be available after our next major Bay Area event, "A Concerted Effort 2002 - A Concert for World AIDS Day." If you would like to be on The Foundation's mailing list, just drop a line to:

The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation 779 Altos Oaks Drive, Suite 200 Los Altos, CA 94024

I'm hoping your angst quickly subsides. Your 3-month HIV test will be negative. Both your mom and I agree mutual masturbation is quite safe.

Stay well.

Dr. Bob


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