I met a loving man who is very healthy and HIV+. We are using safe sex in every way except he says that me performing oral sex on him with out a condom is low risk. There has been no pre-cum or ejaculation or blood. Is he right? Should I be worried and get tested? I really need an answer as I love him but want to be safe. Please answer!

Hi,

Oral sex carries a low, but not completely non-existent risk for HIV. Insertive oral sex is less risky than receptive oral sex. Oral sex without ejaculation is less risky than with ejaculation. Oral sex with an HIV-positive person whose viral load in the blood (and seminal fluid) is undetectable is less risky than with someone who has a detectable viral load in the blood or ejaculate. As you can see, this is not an easy question! Oral sex could be very low risk or, based on the information above, slightly higher risk. How much risk you are willing to accept is up to you. If you want to be absolutely safe, you'd need to perform oral sex with a condom in place. If you are willing to accept some risk, then the other factors come into play. This is your decision and your new lover must respect that decision.

Hope that helps.

Dr. Bob