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Pwease Help Me :(
Jun 27, 2002

Hello Robert

I know I am in the wrong forum, but nobody else has answered me:( I know my post is one of thousands, but I would be so grateful if you could take the time to answer mine.

About 4 years ago, I engaged in unprotected sex with a guy of unknown status, can't remember if he ejaculated in me or not, I was very drunk at the time (stupid I know).

Anyway about 3 years later, I developed a swollen node on the side of my neck the size of a pea (which is still there now)and one under my jaw which goes up and down all the time. I have rang up the AIDS hotline and they said they don't think it is HIV, but I think that's all it could be! I have an impacted tooth which frequently gets infected on the side where the pea size node is and I clench my teeth constantly and have done for years, I read on an internet site that just clenching your teeth alone can make your glands swell up, but all I think it is is HIV, it is driving me totally insane, I am definitly not the same person I was about 4 years ago and it's really doing my head in. I have a little boy of 2 and a half years who has always seemed perfectly healthy, but I am terrified I have infected him and infected my partner of whom I have been with for 3 years.

I know you will say go and get tested so I will know one way or the other, but I don't think it is the right time in my life to do that.

What do you think my chances are that I am negative???? Or does it sound like I am doomed?

I would be so grateful if you could give me a response.

Thank you very much

Terrified mummy from the UK

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Terrified Mummy from the UK,

You've been worried for 3+ years and you don't think it is the right time in your life to get tested? OK, maybe you're right. A better time would have been 3 years ago!

What are you chances of being negative? Excellent! The lymph gland swelling does not sound like HIV and is much more likely related to your impacted wisdom tooth. So, are you doomed? Well, I think at present you're dooming yourself to a life of excessive worry, anxiety, guilt, and stress, and this is making you quite miserable. Your fears are irrational. Seek the help of a counselor or therapist who can help you overcome this. Get tested. It will be negative and you'll kick yourself in the butt for having waited so long!!! Write back and say WOOHOO when your negative result comes in so I can send your back a big cyberspace "I told you so!" This is the right time to put this all behind you.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob


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