Dear Dr. Frascino, I am a HIV negative male in love with a positive female. We have protected sex with condoms,but my question is this:Is it safe for me to french kiss her? I want to do it but feel scared, I read in some pamphlets that "social" kissing is safe, whatever that means, but does that include deep kissing? Can I relax and feel completely safe or is there some degree of danger? Advice from an MD would mean more to me than some pamphlet's advice. Thanks and god bless.

Hi,

Like the song says, "A Kiss is Just a Kiss!" There has been only one documented case of oral-to-oral HIV transmission that I am aware of. It was picked up by the mass media a few years ago and generated a fair amount of mass hysteria, which was completely unwarranted. The case was highly unusual: Both an HIV-positive male and an HIV-negative female had both undergone dental surgery. The guy's viral load was sky high, and they both had significant mouth lesions from the surgery, which would have allowed blood-to-blood transmission. The odds of this ever happening again are astronomical. Exactly why these two felt like playing tonsil hockey right after dental surgery is far beyond me. So what should you do? I'd suggest giving your lover a kiss to remember! By the way, I do practice what I preach. My lover is HIV-negative and we kiss passionately all the time. In fact it sounds like a good idea right now! Gotta go!

Dr. Bob