Apr 3, 2002
Hi Dr. Bob, I read your column all the time. I am so scared to the point where stress is taking over my life. Almost 3 years ago I had sex for maybe a couple of seconds, then stopped. No pre cum or semen. This was my first experience. I know this was a mistake. Needless to say this person is no longer around. I am now very happy and have a family of my own. My daughter is 16mths old and very healthy as are my boyfriend and myself. Should i get a grip. Do you think I should get the family tested, do I have a reason to be concerned? What do you think? I have heard you say this disease is not easy to get, do you think we are at risk, wouldn't something show up in one of us? I know the experts in the childrens forum say that most children suffer from something usually within the first year. Please help me, I really respect your opinion.
Response from Dr. Frascino
Now let me get this straight. You had sex for only "a couple of seconds . . . . no pre-cum or semen" and you've been worried about this for 3 years??? That means 1-1/2 years of worry for each 1 second of nookie! Now that just doesn't seem fair at all.
Do you need to get tested? Probably not. You don't mention any symptoms possibly related to HIV, and with "no pre-cum, or semen," and extremely brief duration of sex, your risk is really quite low.
If you absolutely can't stop worrying, then get tested. It will be negative. Do you need to test the whole family? Of course not. If you are negative, then so are they.
We've all made mistakes in the past. It's part of being human. It's time to put that brief (very brief) mistake behind you. Enjoy your boyfriend and your daughter.
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