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gay hiv positive wife sons neg. deal with family secret
Oct 22, 2001

greetings,seeking info for sister. husband devulged gay one yr ago then last week announced he is hiv positive. no support system for sister where to turn? boys 11 and 13. Sons know nothing. suggestions,help,books,web sites,discussion groups ect. any help greatly appreciated. Thank You, loving concerned sister.

Response from Dr. Remien

Clearly you are describing a challenging situation. This website ("The Body") is a good starting place, and while I am not personally aware of all the other possible web sites and Internet discussion groups, I know there are many. You need to see which, if any, feel helpful to you and your sister. More importantly, I recommend that your sister seek counseling help someplace close to home. I'm sure she must be dealing with a range of feelings and concerns for herself, for her children, and for her husband. I think it would be best if she talked to someone by herself to sort out her feelings and concerns. She probably should not rush into disclosure to many people until she had been able to talk with someone. Then she and her counselor may decide that other forms of intervention would be helpful, such as family or couples counseling, a support group, or even help for the kids (by themselves) at some time. She should look locally - usually there are a range of services available to people who are affected by HIV in their family. In the meantime, I'm sure whatever support you are offering to your sister is very helpful to her.

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