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Current boyfriend has + ex
Aug 12, 2001

I am currently dating a guy that I have fairly strong feelings about. Recently I found out that he once dated a now deceased HIV positive man for four years. He knew the man was positive before going into the relationship or having sex for the first time. My boyfriend says that he remained HIV negative while being sexually active with his positive partner. How likely is this? Obviously I should get tested, but I want to know if remaining negative is even possible. I also has reservations as to how seriously my boyfriend takes his own health. I still have a hard time understanding why he would intentionally put himself at risk by persuing this sexual relationship knowing that the man was positive. Thanks.

Response from Dr. Remien

There are many people who are HIV- in relationships with someone who is HIV+ and able to have satisfying and healthy sexual, romantic, and intimate relationships, while remaining HIV-. In general, people pursue romantic and sexual relationships with someone they are attracted to and have special feelings for. HIV status does not define the person and there are lots of reasons that someone may find his/herself in a relationship with someone who has the "opposite" HIV status of their own. While mixed status relationships have their challenges, they can also be very healthy and satisfying for many people. Spend a little more time reading other questions and answers on this forum and on the "Safer Sex, Transmission, and Prevention" forum so you can read about the experiences of couples in this situation.


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