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8 years I did not know hiv + girl friend
Jun 21, 2001

I am a male in my late 30s my girlfriend of 8 years is hiv+ she never told me. learned of it when she hospitalized with pcp pnumonia in feb.she just was recently was released from care I am trying to help her as much as I can but I am haveing trouble dealing with it all.I waited 3months after our last time being sexually intimate I tested neg. I am haveing many mixed emotions she knew of her status since 1991. some advice please

Response from Dr. Remien

I understand how it can be very upsetting to find out this information. It is good that you have tested HIV negative and may want to test again in a few months, just to be sure. But usually a person seroconverts within three months after infection. Speak to your doctor or an HIV test counselor about this.

There are many reasons why an HIV+ person may find it very difficult to tell others about his or her HIV status, including sex partners. Many feel that it is important to disclose an HIV positive status to all partners. Some argue that if safer sex is practiced disclosure is not always necessary. I believe the responsibility is with BOTH partners in a sexual situation. One cannot expect that it is only up to the "other" person to discuss HIV, other STDs, and protection. And as you have learned, nobody should make assumptions about someone else's HIV status, if it has not been discussed. It is up to everyone who is sexually active to protect themself and their partner. Do take care.

sero-discordant relationship
Choosing to have sex with my HIV+ive partner

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