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sero-discordant relationship
Jun 1, 2001

Dear Dr. Remien, I have been dating an extraordinary man for four months. My HIV+ status did not chase him away at first, but he revealed to me last week that he is scared and feels like he can't be as intimate with me because of my status. He has been curious, as have I, to find out about resources for couples like us (i.e., counseling, literature, exapmles of successful relantionships, etc.). We have been extremely safe and intimate. It seems like some talking to an expert might be useful for us. Any ideas? Thank you. Robert

Response from Dr. Remien

It's great that you can talk to each other about this and the fears and concerns are normal and understandable. And yes, talking with an expert could prove to be very helpful to you both. I also suggest you contact a local community based or AIDS service organization and ask for literature on this topic. You can also surf the web and find things written about mixed status relationships. It would also be great if you could meet other couples in the same situation. Often groups or meetings are held in community based organizations specifically for mixed status couples. Seek these things out and keep talking to each other about your thoughts and feelings. Take care.


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