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HIV+ Spouse is driving me crazy with his insecurities
Aug 13, 1999

Hello! Recently my husband was diagnosed with HIV. So far, I have tested negative. My problem is with my husband. He's obviously scared, but he constantly asks me whether or not he's going to die, what are symptoms of various illnesses, and complains constantly about his sexual past. It's getting to the point that I am having a hard time deciding whether or not I want to stay in this relationship. There's only so much I can take. I want to be supportive, but I'm finding it increasingly difficult to do so. I've tried talking to him, but it doesn't seem to help. Do you have any advice? Thanks.

Response from Dr. Remien

It seems to me that both you AND your husband can use some support. He needs to talk with a counselor and/or other people living with HIV to help him adjust to the news of his status. You also can use the support of talking with others in your situation (a person in a relationship with someone who is HIV+). Once he and you have found the individual support that you need, then you and he can communicate to each other about your thoughts and feelings. But until he gets support for himself, you cannot be the person to provide for him all of the reassurance and support that he needs.

Get the support that you need and encourage your husband to get the support that he needs. Take care.

HIV+ Proactive Medical Care
Low t-cell count, HIV negative?

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