my husband was closet gay. he left 11months ago wants to come out& live as gay person. during that time he contracted hiv. im neg. i still lov him in spite of all. i learned today about his hiv. i want to be there for him and let him spend more time with our children. they dont know he's hiv+. husband thinks about coming back. what's the risk to my children?

There shouldn't be a risk of HIV transmission unless there is blood-to-blood or sexual contact between them. It seems to me that the real issues are the emotional and psychological ones that are involved with having parents who have separated, complicated by the reality that their dad is gay and also living with HIV. When and how these things should be addressed depend on multiple factors, including the ages of the kids and their specific relationship to each of you. I strongly recommend that you speak with a therapist who is both trained in family therapy and knowledgeable about HIV issues.