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Need Help Informing
Oct 25, 2005

My daughter is dating a young man who is HIV possitive. No matter what I say or point out to her about the risks it makes little difference to her. My daughter has a young son as well.

This young man has a daughter from another relationship who is not infected and neither is the girl's mother. My daughter believes that it is not luck that they have not gotten HIV.

I am at a loss as to how to make her understand what a risk she is taking with not only her life but the life of her son.

Do you have any advice on how I can help her see the light? Is it possible that he just has HIV and wont pass it on to my daughter?

Thank you for your help.

Response from Dr. Remien

As you can see from many of the questions and answers on this Forum, there are many people in "HIV serodiscordant" relationships. HIV transmission can be prevented with consistent and correct use of protection during sexual intercourse. HIV is not easily transmitted and it is not transmitted via casual contact. Also, most people living with HIV can expect to live relatively healthy lives if they have access to good health care and treatment. This is particularly true for people who have not yet had serious HIV-related illnesses and have not had serious impairment to their immune system. Monitoring one's health and accessing treatment at appropriate times can contribute to achieving a healthy and long life.

So, it is not just "luck" that keeps people from becoming infected with HIV. Engaging in "protective" behaviors is the key to remaining uninfected. Assuming that your daughter is well informed of the issues and that she and her boyfriend are doing what they need to do to protect each other, your extreme worry may be unnecessary. While there are no such things as "guarantees" and life carries risks of many kinds, your daughter (and her son) are not in serious jeopardy just because she is dating someone with HIV.


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