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infected by partner
Jun 21, 2005

My parnter recently in fected me and we are both going through alot. He is feeling extreme guilt over the matter and is deeply depressed, how do we get through this? There are so many emotions on both our sides regarding the matter. I do want to try and work through this so what should we do??

Response from Dr. Remien

This is indeed a difficult time for BOTH of you. You didn't describe the circumstances under which this happened, but I am assuming that you both knew of each other's HIV status and were both involved as willing partners in the risk behavior(s) that occurred.

Again, I am sure that each one of you is experiencing a wide range of emotions - that is to be expected. I think the main thing is that you keep talking with each other and express your difficult feelings to each other. At the same time, each of you may need to talk with other(s) about what you are going through. This needs to be a "safe" space such as with a close friend who can understand (and not judge) and/or a professional counselor. While some of the feelings you have are common with your partner, but some are also likely to be different. Having a personal place to work thought some of this can be important to each of you. And again, talking with each other is also important.

It is also crucial for you to realize that this takes time. And with time, you can work through this and the relationship can survive, if that is what you both want to happen. Take good care and do no be afraid to seek some professional counseling, at least for a brief period of time.

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