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Pos man not on treatment
May 27, 2005

I have come out of an 18 year relationship a year ago. I met a new man and I want to persue a relationship w/him. He told me he is pos and I didn't run. I lived in fear for a long time and so I decided to educated myself. He has been positive for 4 years and has never been in any kind of treatment plan. Overall his health is good yet it does take him longer to recover from things like colds. How can I or should I push him to get some medical care? I want him around for awhile yet I havn't meet anyone before who was positive and not actively seeking treatment, yet seemed to do well with thier helath and stress. Should I just let it lie?

Response from Dr. Remien

I'm not sure what you mean when you say he has "never been in any kind of treatment plan." It is very important for someone living with HIV to have regular check-ups. In fact, all people should have regular check-ups, but with a chronic illness like HIV, the recommended frequency of these check-ups is greater. Most doctors would say that a person with HIV should be seen, and have blood work done every 3 months. However, many people living with HIV do not need to be on medication and I wasn't sure if "being on medication" was what you meant by being in a treatment plan?

While it is important to not be overly involved in his treatment, just as you probably would not like him to be intrusive about your medical care, it is important that you have some reassurance that he is in ongoing care with a qualified physician. Letting him know that you care about him and that it is important for you to know that he is getting good care is a good thing. I do hope that he is willing to speak with you about this and can also appreciate your concerns.

pos woman neg man
found out partner is pos, he hasnt told me yet!

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