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Is anyone else out there?
Jun 19, 2004

My husband is HIV+ and I am not. We have a wonderful marriage and are very much in love. Sometimes it seems that we are the only people in the world living this way. However, I know we are not. We don't feel comfortable discussing our situation with others and sometimes the secret gets to be a little much to carry. People often ask us why we don't have children and we make excuses. I don't want him ridiculed and he does not want me hurt. This is one of those things that you don't want everyone to know. We considered talking to our pastor but were too afraid that he may tell someone and everyone's feelings would change about us. I wish that there was a support group here in Oklahoma or even another couple that we could correspond with just to know that there is someone else out there. Do you have any info you can share with us?

Response from Dr. Remien

It can feel very isolating to be in this situation and not have others to talk to. And while it doesn't really have to be that way, you have a right to not want everyone to know. Unfortunately, I cannot be aware of all of the local resources available all over the country. You should not be too quick to assume that support groups don't exist in your area. Start by asking your healthcare providers. If they are not aware of any, ask them to put you in touch with social workers or other mental health counselors. There are likely to be supportive services through a community clinic, community based organization, church group, or other location - and counselors are usually aware of such things. And if you really do have trouble finding something like a support group, you should consider seeing a psychologist or social work counselor so that the two of you have a place to discuss things with another knowledgeable and qualified person.

In the meantime, read through some of the questions and answers on this forum - the truth is you are definitely not alone. There are many mixed status couples out there. Keep on with your wonderful relationship.

I am Positive. My boy friend is negative. Can we stay togheter?
keeping his secreat

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