|shall I break the relationship?
May 19, 2004
Dear sir, I live in africa and my fiancee, she lives in the USA. I recently found out that I am positve, she is negative. We had safe sex 6 months back when she was in africa. I wanted to stop with her and told her my case, the truth but she insisted that she will always be with me.I know we love eachother but i have no idea how we gonna deal with it. I am afraid that i might infect her if we decide to live together. please advise me.In my country people including doctors advise couples to separate if one of them is found to be positive no matter how much they love eachother and creating a lot of problem. Is it fair?
Response from Dr. Remien
I do not believe that having opposite HIV status is a good reason for ending a relationship. I think the decision to be in a relationship should be based on a range of factors, predominantly the degree to which you love and care about each other. Most couples who are "HIV serodiscordant" are able to have a strong relationship and maintain a healthy and satisfying sex life, as well. Consistently practicing safer sex is an excellent means of preventing HIV transmission within the relationship. It should be entirely up to the two of you if you want to work on maintaining a loving relationship with each other. But you need to know that it is entirely possible, if you want it.
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