|Afraid of Contracting HIV from My Positive Partner
Apr 4, 2004
My partner has recently been diagnosed with HIV. I love him a great deal and we've always been safe. Recently I've given a lot of thought to my own status but can't come to grips with getting tested. I am scared to death. As a result I've been sabatoging the relationship because eventhough we've been safe sexually I'm worried about everyday life; grabbing the wrong toothbrush, grabbing the wrong razor, etc. I do love this man and don't want to ruin what we have but I can't live on edge either. Any suggestions on getting past the scare would be appreciative. Thank you
Response from Dr. Remien
You are not alone in fearing HIV from a positive partner, and in my experience (and as you can see from questions in this forum) the HIV+ person usually fears this just as much - sometimes more. After getting all of the basic information about transmission and ways of protecting yourself (make sure you get answers to all of your questions) you need to learn to put it all in perspective so that you can live more comfortably, without constant fear. Things that can help you do this include talking about it with your partner, talking to other people in your situation, seek psychological counseling, only engage in behaviors that you are comfortable with, and get tested for HIV from a setting where you will also get decent counseling to go with that testing. It is generally better to deal with these things directly, rather than living in fear and letting your imagination run away from you. If you are engaging in "safe" behaviors then your worries are probably out of proportion and exaggerated.
when is the right moment?
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