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what do I do when I really love him
Jul 24, 2003

Hello Dr. Remien. First let me start by saying that your forums have helped me in my relationship tremendously and I thank you for that! I have a boyfriend of 2 years that is HIV+. We have been through so much from simple fights to him trying to commit suicide. Lately, we have been arguing so much that he decided to move out. His status is getting worst and I want to be there for him as much as possible. All my family and friends tells me I can do better without him, but if I'm not there for him, who will be. I don't know what to do about this situation, due to the fact, that I am head-over-heals in love with this guy. Do I leave or do I stay. Please help.

Response from Dr. Remien

You ask a very challenging question and one which I am not able to offer very specific advice without having a lengthy and direct discussion with you. What I do think is important for you to realize is that you are not responsible for his well-being and survival. From the little bit you have told me, it seems as though there is a lot going on between the two of you that has nothing to do with HIV. It is sad that you love him so much and that he has left you. But remember, he did the leaving. I suggest you seek professional counseling for your own support and well-being, so that you can move forward, whatever the ultimate outcome is with this relationship.

Take care of yourself!


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