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Am I dangerous? Him: hiv +; me: herpes.. Afraid for him.
Oct 30, 2002

I'm in the beginnings of a new relationship with an hiv + man. I have herpes from my ex-husband and fear two things. One, telling him -- we haven't had sex yet -- and two, being a danger to him. I am afraid of risking his health and life by exposing him to herpes. What are the dangers, and what may be done to protect him?

Response from Dr. Remien

I am not a medical doctor nor an expert in STDs. Please post your question about risk of transmission and methods of protection to another forum. However, as a psychologist with expertise in couple-related issues I strongly suggest that you find a way to discuss this issue with your partner. It's a little surprising that you do not want to tell him about your herpes when he has let you know that he has HIV. It's important in intimate relationships that you be able to talk freely with each other about such matters. And this can be done in the context of caring about each other and wanting to protect each other.


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