My partner for 11 years has just been diagnosed positive. This was a huge shock for both of us, as it was not something we expected. My test is negative. I do love him a lot, he is my life and we have been planning a nice future together. Now I feel all might be up in the air. I can not cope with the idea of him dying, of the life we have been planning together being taken away from us. He is 45 with a CD4 of 219 and VL of 65,000. He is normally very strong and athletic. He doesn't smoke or drink, but he is now having some problems with the nerves on his feet. He is attending the best clinic in the U.K. and they want him to start on a combination (3 medicines) soon. I try to think that the future will not be bad. That this is not a terminal illness anymore. That there are many people living with HIV for 10 years now without developing AIDS and that in 5 years from now, maybe new drugs will ensure a very long trouble free life. Am I fooling myself? Can we still plan the future together? Could I dream of 30 more years together?

You are not being foolish. While HIV remains a very serious disease, there is a great deal of hope these days for people living with HIV, especially those with access to good medical care. Nobody can say exactly what the future holds in store for your partner or for anyone living with HIV. Of course that is true for everyone, with or without HIV. Unfortunately current treatments, while very effective at lowering HIV viral load, have significant side effects. And there are concerns about long-term use of such powerful medications. At the same time, new treatments are in development and there remains hope that people living with HIV, with good access to medical care, can live full and productive lives.

I encourage you to take HIV seriously, while at the same time love and live your lives with the hope and optimism that you deserve and take it one day at a time.