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May 24, 2002

Dear Sir,

I am young gay man just coming out of the closet. A while ago I had my first sexual experience with another man, he performed oral sex on me with a condom and stimulated (massaged) my prostate and Anal opening THERE WAS NO FINGER PENETERATION. How ever initially he scratched his arm where there was some red dry skin. I did examined the skin. it appeared to be dry and there was no blood or discharge present. I am still concerned; what if some tiny skin parts with tiny blood drops attached to them had got stuck to hiss fingertips? And then the very same fingertips came into contact with my anal opening? I am going nuts since I have no one to talk to (Young gay man in a small town , you figure!) I have been thinking about killing my self. Tell me I have nothing to worry about please. Thanks so much and God Bless. JUST YES OR NO THAT WILL DO. Young Gay, scared, and SUICIDAL

Response from Dr. Remien

The scenario you describe sounds like there is no risk of you having gotten HIV. However, I am much more concerned about you being so isolated and feeling so scared to the point of feeling "suicidal." Coming out and becoming sexually active can be a very difficult time, especially in small town settings where you are likely to feel alone and isolated. I STRONGLY recommend that you find someone you can talk with. I do not know how old you are or what resources you have available to you. However, I suggest you speak with someone such as a teacher or guidance counselor, a doctor, a mental health therapist, or someone working in a local community based organization that provides services to young people. Also think about confiding in a friend, neighbor, or family member that you feel you can trust. If you are not sure exactly where to go contact a help "hotline" and ask for places you can go and talk with someone.

Please know that you are NOT ALONE. There are many young gay people in your area, around the country, and the world. While this may feel like a difficult time, you can work through this. And there are things you can learn from talking with a professional about ways of protecting yourself from diseases and violence and other bad things that can happen when seeking sex in places that may make you vulnerable.

Please contact someone right away and take care of yourself!

How big is the risk?
please help-can we be a normal couple

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