My partner of three years failed to disclose his status after two occasions when I was warned of his status. He denied their claims as a rumor. In March 1999, a public health worker handed me a phamplet entitled Living with someone with AIDS at a healthfair. Finally, he disclosed the fact that he had been diagnosed with HIV for 6 years. I was shocked and felt betrayed. I was concerned that our infant daughter who was 6 months at the time might be positive as well as myself. My test came back negative. His did not. I prayed for answers and discovered that I would not want to tell our daughter that I walked away from her father and did not help him receive medical care. My question is how do you get past betrayal and hurt, but at the same time show my partner that I care.

You ask a very challenging question. While I can understand the difficulty your partner may have had in disclosing his HIV status, the bottom line is that he was dishonest with you and that is hurtful. If there are reasons for you to want to be with him he will need to earn your trust. This will require time and a lot of open and honest discussion between you. You may find that you need to work with a counselor to have some of these discussions.

Good luck, take care of yourself and your daughter, and know that you deserve honesty from your partner.