The Body: The Complete HIV/AIDS Resource
Sign up for free e-mail updates!The Body en Espanol
Please Note: Due to volume considerations, not all questions can be answered. Questions most likely to be answered will be those of general interest to a broad group of visitors to this forum. Questions pertaining to a specific case; requests for diagnosis, medical advice, or second opinion; or requests for opinions about untested alternative therapies will generally not be answered.

Ask the Experts about Mixed-HIV-Status Couples
Recent AnswersAsk a Question

 

Stopping Therapy: New Questions Arise
May 1, 2001

The new guidelines pose many questions for couples in a mixed-status relationship. We practice unprotected oral sex--never allowing precum or ejaculate to be secreted into the mouth--and never unprotected anal sex. He was diagnosed one year ago, started on HAART therapy, and has since experienced debilitating side effects even though the meds have kept his viral load down. His CD4 count is probably higher than mine at close to 1000. He is stopping medications to give his system a break. Should we then be more cautious during sex? The toll on his psychological health has been tremendous, and he is experiencing depression and debilitating loss of self-image. Although cautious and fearful, I hate to see the person I love go through so much pain, so I will support him, of course, in his decision. Please let me know what your thoughts are on this. Thank you for your continued help.

Response from Dr. Remien

The risk that you take in practicing unprotected oral sex is minimal, but not zero. You are not alone in deciding that it is an "acceptable" level of risk for you, as a couple. Many couples feel that the risk is low enough that it is not worth the loss of intimacy and pleasure to use protection for oral sex, particularly when precum and ejaculate is avoided. And even though there is "some" evidence that a low (or undetectable) viral load is associated with a reduction in level of "infectiousness," there are also no guarantees with that. A number of studies have shown there to be a lack of correlation between viral load of blood and viral load of genital secretions (including cum). So HIV can still be transmitted even when one has a very low or undetectable viral load in their blood.

The bottom line is that all individuals and all couples must decided what level of risk they are comfortable with. This is often not easy to determine. The decision must be made by both of you, after weighing the pros and cons. Take the information you have, consult with a doctor if you need to, then discuss the issues and see what you both decide. Continue to enjoy the sex you have, but also continue to take care of each other, which includes keeping you HIV negative.



Terms of Use
Please remember that this forum is designed for educational purposes only, and experts are not engaged through this forum in rendering legal or medical advice or professional services. Experts appearing on this page are independent and are solely responsible for editing and fact-checking their material. Neither The Body nor any sponsor is the publisher or speaker of posted visitors' questions or the experts' material.

Questions and messages posted to this forum are not statements of advice, opinion, or information of The Body, Body Health Resources Corporation or any sponsor of this forum. While neither The Body nor Body Health Resources Corporation regularly reviews posted content, we reserve the right to delete, move, or edit postings if we deem it appropriate under the circumstances. Visitors submitting questions remain solely responsible for the content of their messages.

Information provided by experts is general only and should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem or a disease, or relied upon as legal or other professional advice. This information is not a substitute for professional advice or care. If you have or suspect you may have a health or legal problem, you should consult your own health care provider or your attorney.

Copyright notice.