The Body: The Complete HIV/AIDS Resource
Sign up for free e-mail updates!The Body en Espanol
Please Note: Due to volume considerations, not all questions can be answered. Questions most likely to be answered will be those of general interest to a broad group of visitors to this forum. Questions pertaining to a specific case; requests for diagnosis, medical advice, or second opinion; or requests for opinions about untested alternative therapies will generally not be answered.

Ask the Experts about Mixed-HIV-Status Couples
Recent AnswersAsk a Question

 

love my pos. husband very much-not attracted sexually
Apr 10, 2002

My husband is in the latter stages of AIDS, but recently doing a lot better! Thank God. He is now asking for sex all of the time, and I don't have the urge at all (I am neg). I feel terrible about it, because I want to make him happy, but I have no longing for sex. I don't know if subconsciously I am scared, or if it is because he doesn't look healthy and attractive to me. Please help me to let my husband know I love him!

Response from Dr. Remien

While you do find yourself in a challenging situation, I think the only advice I or anyone can give you is simple and basic. You simply need to communicate to your husband that you do love him and care about him and his well-being. You can also be honest about your lack of sexual interest. It is generally not something you can fake, nor should you feel that you need to. It is what it is, whatever the exact cause(s).

Communication is key. Be honest and open with him. There are many things that go into a relationship, and many ways of expressing love and caring. Sometimes sex is not a priority in the expression of love. Again, talk with him and tell him how you feel. Then see what both of you want to do about the problem you face: he is interested in sex right now and you are not. Neither of your positions is more or less valid than the other's. If you care about each other, I trust you can learn to cope with this difference.



Terms of Use
Please remember that this forum is designed for educational purposes only, and experts are not engaged through this forum in rendering legal or medical advice or professional services. Experts appearing on this page are independent and are solely responsible for editing and fact-checking their material. Neither The Body nor any sponsor is the publisher or speaker of posted visitors' questions or the experts' material.

Questions and messages posted to this forum are not statements of advice, opinion, or information of The Body, Body Health Resources Corporation or any sponsor of this forum. While neither The Body nor Body Health Resources Corporation regularly reviews posted content, we reserve the right to delete, move, or edit postings if we deem it appropriate under the circumstances. Visitors submitting questions remain solely responsible for the content of their messages.

Information provided by experts is general only and should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem or a disease, or relied upon as legal or other professional advice. This information is not a substitute for professional advice or care. If you have or suspect you may have a health or legal problem, you should consult your own health care provider or your attorney.

Copyright notice.