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Nov 16, 2001

I am a married man who is loves his family.I have a wife and children.I was always curious about sex with men.Up until recently I did nothing about it.I met a man and had mutual masterbation with him.I have been reading that it is the safest form of sex.Yet I hear that the head of your penis is made of mucus membrane and that aids is transmitted through mucas membranes.I masterbated him.Neither of us ejaculated on or near eachother.The most there was,was some pre cum on both our hands.He stroked me and I stroked him.My question is can you contract aids by touching his penis with pre cum on it and then touching yours.Is there anyway that aids can be absorbed through the head of the penis or or through the opening in the tip if he rubs it.Neither of us had any kind of cuts or sores or any broken skin.Please help me.I am devistated by what happened.I am guilt ridden over it and I am afraid to sleep with my wife fearing that if there is even a small chance that I contacted something that I might pass it on to her.Your expertise and advice would help greatly.Thank you

Response from Mr. Kull

There is no evidence that HIV is spread through mutual masturbation. Sexual transmission of HIV is known to be spread through the following three ways:

1) Anal sex, receptive or insertive

2) Vaginal sex, receptive or insertive

3) Oral sex, receptive fellatio or insertive cunnulingus (transmission to the person whose mouth is on the genitals)

If your sexual behavior does not fall into any of the above categories, then it is EXTREMELY unlikely that you will become infected through sexual contact.

During mutual masturbation, you should avoid using your partner's semen as a lubricant on your genitals. This would increase the chances of infected fluids coming into contact with mucous membranes (the urethra, and possibly the glans(head) or foreskin in uncircumcised men). It's always possbile that some fluid will come into contact with your mucous membranes during mutual masturbation, but that does not seem to be a significant risk for infection (since we never see transmission happen this way).

It's okay to want to experiment sexually with a person of the same sex. It's also okay to do it. It sounds like this has brought up some conflict for you in the context of your marriage. I would encourage you to find someone to talk with about the conflictual feelings that you are experiencing.


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