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I've completed chemotherapy and I'm scared
Mar 2, 2001

Dr Dezube thank you for your valuable work on this site. Dr Dezube I 've written to you before concerning not only been diagnosed with HIV, but also AIDS due to advance NHL. I've now completed chemotherapy and am in remission, my VL is undetectable but T cells still low 200's. Having to deal with both learning I had AIDS then been diagnosed with NHL all within a year is scary. Everything that I took for granted about living a long life are now in gone. Is it normal to feel scared and unsure of my futher. Why did i become so sick so early; nobody can explain why this happened so early in the disease, is it possible that i already had the lymphoma and its not related to the HIV, since i was neg 12 months early. I just want to understand my illness and put it into prospective and move on. Just not knowing why is scary. Thank you.

Response from Dr. Dezube

Your fear is completely understandable. It sure is tough to be diagnosed with both lymphoma and AIDS; one diagnosis is hard enough, but two diagnoses is doubly hard to bear. Nevertheless the body is quite resilient. You did pull through and hopefully it will be smooth sailing from here. You deserve a pat on the back for making it through; it's not easy and indeed many do give up. Please refer to a letter, which I posted earlier this week; the title of the letter is HOPE. It was written from a patient just like you. My strong advice would be to look towards the future. You have only one head with one set of eyes. The more you look back, the less you'll look forward. Although there are no guarantees in this field, the fact that your viral load is undetectable and that you are in remission is very reassuring. GOOD LUCK.


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