|Bike Riding good therapy?
Apr 1, 2013
Hi, I he asked a few questions before about aging. I suffer from parotid glad disease which makes it hard to swallow or really just to find any peace. On top of that I live around smokers and partyersand all that stuff. I understand all that, I lived it. But now Im late 40s and find that number one I cant get a job because Im told Im overqualified or this that an the other so I gave. On top of that I am in a state I dont understand. I wasnt raised here I was a Marine here once then I moved back 20 years later Six months later I got sick. Now Ive recovered but Im still lost here. I look around and its like Im at a cross road. I dont know one street from another. My sense of direction here is non existent Plus I have Aids. My wife says its better this way...stay on disability...it pays better or is more stable. Before I was an electrician. So, while I know mentally I am a disaster my health is stellar, my physical health. I was wondering if bike riding is good for my health. My problem is I do things like impulsively. Ill ride 5 miles like a madman and then stop or Ill treadmill 5 miles and then stop, go home then its back to the partyers or the down and outers. Last night (Easter) I saw one of them walking away from a party here with a chicken bone hanging out of his mouth. I wasnt raised like that yet Im here in the middle of it. Other times Ill get in my car and drive 20 miles go fish or something and dread coming home knowing something weird will happen. So, maybe Im asking if the exercise is a sign a compulsiveness or is it a sign of something else. I feel like although its helped my physical body I am still emotionally bankrupt. I have seen a shrink and took my wife with me. She tries to do all the talking laughing it all off. Am I going insane or do I really just need to dump this lady Ive been with for 14 years. I started resenting her when I went on disability and she blows through 500 bucks of it in three days.
| Response from Mr. Vergel
I do not have to tell you that you have lost control of your life. You know that already. You are allowing circumstances and people around you to rule your choices to improve your wellbeing. Gladly, you are reaching out via the internet. I hope you do not stop there.
If you were a Marine, I hope you have applied for services at your closet veterans administration hospital. You tell me that you have a "shrink" ( is he/she psychiatrist or a psychologist- Can he/she prescribe psych meds?). You may be suffering from depression or have other mental health issues that you do not allow you to cope in the best way possible to take control of your life. And you seem to go into extremes of compulsiveness. I suggest that you find the right person to help you deal with your mental health so that you once again can make educated choices about what is good for you. And sometimes the best thing for us is to let go of where we live or who we live with to explore other more stable and soul affirming options. But without proper mental health, our coping and focus are disjointed.
I hope that you are taking your HIV medications on time and that your viral load in undetectable, first of all. I also hope that you do not live too far from a VA medical center. They offer mental health and also support groups and other resources.
Now, to answer your question about bike riding: if you can control where you go and you do not lose your way, then do it. But everything is excess is bad for you. Like fishing, it gives you a way to clear your mind and enjoy your surroundings. Try to find a riding buddy that can keep you from compulsively ride yourself to death or to stop riding periodically.
You are the owner of your life. You should see yourself as someone who has not lost his identity because of being of disability, living in a "strange" place and in a bad relationship. Reach out to others beyond the internet so that you do not repeat the same actions expecting different results. Speak up if you are not happy and if someone is spending your money unwisely. That Marine is still inside of you and he knows you also deserve stability and a good life. Do not let disability and bad past choices determine the man you can be in the near future!
Please email me and let me know a positive take-charge thing you do in the next few days. Set a goal for one per week. I hope to hear back from you soon.
Hang in there. You can have the life that you know you deserve.
Here are some resources that I hope can help:
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