Hi, my husband diagnose with HIV on 26th Feb 2012. He had sex with a lady he went for a massage last year either oct or Nov not sure. I found this out on 25Feb and insisted we go for the test. He said he used a condom she gave him a blow job and then they had sex. We had unprotected sex from Dec. Now that he is HIV we use a condom. He does not seem to have get or keep an erection. We are trying to make our marriage work. 1) how do I know if he got HIV from her. 2) when does he go on meds.

You need to get tested for HIV and always use a condom with him.

He needs HIV medications. That will protect his health and yours. People that are able to control their viral load to undetectable levels with medications have a much lower chance to infect their HIV negative partners.

He should talk to his doctor about his erection problems. Sometimes the guilt of getting HIV and the fear to infect others can get in the way of sexual arousal. He should also have his testosterone blood levels checked to make sure they are OK. You both should probably go to counseling to deal with this stressful issue, but know that many couples have been able to live happy after healing and forgiveness occurs.

Nelson